"If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be."
"If you don't know where you're going, you might end up some place else."
Responding to a question about remarks attributed to him that he did not think were his:
"I really didn't say everything I said."
"The future ain't what it use to be."
"I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house."
On why he no longer went to Ruggeri's, a St. Louis restaurant:
"Nobody goes there anymore because it's too crowded."
"I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."
"We have deep depth."
14. "All pitchers are liars or crybabies."
When giving directions to Joe Garagiola to his New Jersey home, which is accessible by two routes: "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise
they won't come to yours."
"Never answer anonymous letters."
On being the guest of honor at an awards banquet: "Thank you for making this day necessary."
"The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase."
"Half the lies they tell about me aren't true."
Moe Berg: "Good fielding and pitching,
without hitting, or vice versa, is like Ben Franklin's half pair of scissors."
As a general comment on baseball: "90% of the game is half mental."
"I don't know (if they were men or women running naked across the field),
they had bags over their heads."
"It gets late early out there."
Carmen Berra, Yogi's wife asked: "Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?" Yogi's answer: "Surprise me."
"It's no secret what's going on in baseball. At least half the guys are using [steroids]. They talk about it. They joke about it with each other. ... I don't want to hurt fellow teammates or fellow friends. But I've got nothing to hide."
"I think it was more of an attitude. There is a mental edge that comes with the injections. And it's definitely something that gets you more intense. The thing is, I didn't do it to make me a better player. I did it because my body was broke down."
"I got really strong, really quick. I pulled a lot of muscles.
I broke down a lot." I'm still paying for it. My tendons and ligaments
got all torn up. My muscles got too strong for my tendons and ligaments.
And now my body's not producing testosterone. You know what that's like?
You get lethargic. You get depressed. It's terrible."
Ralph Kiner: "Now coming to bat for the Mets, Gary Cooper."
"We'll be back after this word from Manufacturers Hangover."
"That's the great thing about baseball, you never know what's going on."
"Two-thirds of the earth is covered by water. The other third
is covered by Garry Maddox."
"All his saves have come in relief appearances."
Ralph Kiner is married four times, including to 1950s tennis star Nancy Chaffee.
"On Father's Day, we again wish you all a Happy Birthday."
"The Mets have gotten their leadoff hitter on only once this inning."
"There's a lot of heredity in that family."
"Thurman was one of the things you could always count on."
-on Thurman Munson
"I guess Graig hit him with his purse."-after a brawl where Graig
Nettles punched out Boston's Bill Lee
Danny Murtaugh: "Why certainly I'd like to have that fellow who hits a home run every time at bat, who strikes out every opposing batter when he's pitching, who throws strikes to any base or the plate when he's playing outfield and who's always thinking about two innings ahead just what he'll do to baffle the other team. Any manager would want a guy like that playing for him. The only trouble is to get him to put down his cup of beer and come down out of the stands and do those things."
Bobo Newsome: "He has a weakness for doubles" (Speaking About Joe DiMaggio during his 56 game hitting streak)
Wally Pipp: "I took the two most expensive aspirins in history." - After being replaced by Lou Gehrig in the lineup due to a headache.
Dan Quisenberry: "I became a better pitcher when I found a delivery in my flaw."
"Once I tried to drown myself with a shower nozzle after I gave up a homer in the ninth. I found out you can't."
"The batter still hits a grounder. But in this case the first bounce is 360 feet away." (On when his sinker stopped working)
"Natural grass is a wonderful thing for little bugs and sinkerball pitchers." - Dan Quisenberry (Kansas City Royals pitcher)
"It helps to be stupid if you're a relief pitcher. Relievers had to get into a zone of their own. I just hope I'm stupid enough."
"I've seen the future and it's much like the present, only longer."
On the best thing about baseball: "There's no homework."
"Most pitchers fear losing their fastball and, since I don't have one, the only thing I have to fear is fear itself."
Paul Richards: "Tell a ballplayer something a thousand times, then tell him again, because that may be the time he'll understand something."
Wilbert Robinson: "John McGraw was great as a ball player, great as a baseball manager and great as a man. He has had a wonderful career. Baseball suffers an irreparable loss with his death."
Chico Ruiz: "Bench me or trade me."
Eric Show: You can pitch a gem and lose, but you can't lose when you win.
Lou Sockalexis: "I have seen all the good outfielders of the League, and I am just as good as any of them." (Washington Post, May 20, 1897)
"If the small and big boys of Brooklyn find it a pleasure to shout at me, I have no objections. No matter where we play, I go through the same ordeal, and at the present time I am so used to it that at times I forget to smile at my tormentors, believing it to be part of the game. (Brooklyn Eagle, May 1897)
"Maybe someday I will be a great player, but not yet. I have a good deal to learn and watch every player, some of whom may do something of benefit to me to me another time."
"Will I succeed? Of course I will. You have no idea how anxious
I am to learn every trick and point of the game. There are many little things
that come up in nearly every game which are new to me, but the white players
are good to me, and are always ready to advise me. (Sporting Life, June
Jim Spencer: "Our first trip into Boston after Thurman died, some assholes began chanting Munson sucks...totally classless."
Fresco Thompson: "Willie Mays and his glove: where triples go to die."
Sammy Vick: "A rabbit didn't have to think to know what to do to dodge a dog...The same kind of instinct told Babe Ruth what to do and where to be."
Eddie Waitkus: “She had the coldest-looking face I ever saw.” (On Ruth Ann Steinhagen, the woman who shot him in 1949)
Ewart "Dixie" Walker: "I'd only been there (Zanesville, OH) a few days. and I woke up one morning and saw a big headline that said, 'Dixie walker Pitches Today'. It was jsut as simple as that. I don't know how the paper got the idea, but I was Dixie from then on."
Harry Walker: When you're winning, they say you have aggressive players when they spout off. When you're losing, they call it dissension.
One thing all managers hear that doesn't make any sense at all is for a pitcher to say, "I ought to have a right to stay in and win or lose my own game." He doesn't have that right. It isn't just his game. There are 24 other players who have a stake in it, plus the manager and the coaches, and everybody else in the organization. All have worked to field the team and are affected by what happens.
Bucky Walters: "There is no mystery to pitching."
"The object simply is to get the ball over."
"Each pitcher has to learn to make the most of what he has."
"Maybe it's time to revise pitching standards, and not expect a man to complete half or three-quarters of the games he starts."
"I don't think it's necessary to enlarge the strike zone or bring back a lot of mechanical pitches."
"If they want to do something for the pitchers, then let them raise the seams on the ball."
"Pitchers will learn or figure out some way to get even with the hitters and eventually stop them."
John M. Ward: "There was a time when the National League stood for integrity and fair dealing. Today it stands for dollars and cents. Once it looked to the elevation of the game and an honest exhibition of the sport; today its eyes are on the turnstile... Players have been bought, sold and exchanged as though they were sheep instead of American citizens."
Jack Warhop: "I did and what are you going to do about it." (admitting to teammate Jim Curry that he had tied up his street clothes in knots, and moments before Curry knocked him out)
Smokey Joe Wood: "I slept a real sleep last night for the first time in many a night. When I wasn't lying awake thinking and planning and fighting over that furious pennant race, I was dreaming restless dreams about it."
Gene Woodling: "What can you say about Mickey after you say he was one of the greatest? He had talent he didn't realize he had. If he had [Joe] DiMaggio's serious bear-down attitude, there's no telling how great he could have been. With his one good leg, he could outrun everyone."